| ACT V SCENE I | Gloucestershire. SHALLOW'S house. | |
| | Enter SHALLOW, FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, and Page | |
| SHALLOW | By cock and pie, sir, you shall not away to-night. | |
| | What, Davy, I say! | |
| FALSTAFF | You must excuse me, Master Robert Shallow. | |
| SHALLOW | I will not excuse you; you shall not be excused; | 5 |
| | excuses shall not be admitted; there is no excuse | |
| | shall serve; you shall not be excused. Why, Davy! | |
| | Enter DAVY | |
| DAVY | Here, sir. | |
| SHALLOW | Davy, Davy, Davy, Davy, let me see, Davy; let me | |
| | see, Davy; let me see: yea, marry, William cook, | 10 |
| | bid him come hither. Sir John, you shall not be excused. | |
| DAVY | Marry, sir, thus; those precepts cannot be served: | |
| | and, again, sir, shall we sow the headland with wheat? | |
| SHALLOW | With red wheat, Davy. But for William cook: are | |
| | there no young pigeons? | 15 |
| DAVY | Yes, sir. Here is now the smith's note for shoeing | |
| | and plough-irons. | |
| SHALLOW | Let it be cast and paid. Sir John, you shall not be excused. | |
| DAVY | Now, sir, a new link to the bucket must need be | |
| | had: and, sir, do you mean to stop any of William's | 20 |
| | wages, about the sack he lost the other day at | |
| | Hinckley fair? | |
| SHALLOW | A' shall answer it. Some pigeons, Davy, a couple | |
| | of short-legged hens, a joint of mutton, and any | |
| | pretty little tiny kickshaws, tell William cook. | 25 |
| DAVY | Doth the man of war stay all night, sir? | |
| SHALLOW | Yea, Davy. I will use him well: a friend i' the | |
| | court is better than a penny in purse. Use his men | |
| | well, Davy; for they are arrant knaves, and will backbite. | |
| DAVY | No worse than they are backbitten, sir; for they | 30 |
| | have marvellous foul linen. | |
| SHALLOW | Well conceited, Davy: about thy business, Davy. | |
| DAVY | I beseech you, sir, to countenance William Visor of | |
| | Woncot against Clement Perkes of the hill. | |
| SHALLOW | There is many complaints, Davy, against that Visor: | 35 |
| | that Visor is an arrant knave, on my knowledge. | |
| DAVY | I grant your worship that he is a knave, sir; but | |
| | yet, God forbid, sir, but a knave should have some | |
| | countenance at his friend's request. An honest | |
| | man, sir, is able to speak for himself, when a knave | 40 |
| | is not. I have served your worship truly, sir, | |
| | this eight years; and if I cannot once or twice in | |
| | a quarter bear out a knave against an honest man, I | |
| | have but a very little credit with your worship. The | |
| | knave is mine honest friend, sir; therefore, I | 45 |
| | beseech your worship, let him be countenanced. | |
| SHALLOW | Go to; I say he shall have no wrong. Look about, Davy. | |
| | Exit DAVY | |
| | Where are you, Sir John? Come, come, come, off | |
| | with your boots. Give me your hand, Master Bardolph. | |
| BARDOLPH | I am glad to see your worship. | 50 |
| SHALLOW | I thank thee with all my heart, kind | |
| | Master Bardolph: and welcome, my tall fellow. | |
| | To the Page | |
| | Come, Sir John. | |
| FALSTAFF | I'll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow. | |
| | Exit SHALLOW | |
| | Bardolph, look to our horses. | 55 |
| | Exeunt BARDOLPH and Page | |
| | If I were sawed into quantities, I should make four | |
| | dozen of such bearded hermits' staves as Master | |
| | Shallow. It is a wonderful thing to see the | |
| | semblable coherence of his men's spirits and his: | |
| | they, by observing of him, do bear themselves like | 60 |
| | foolish justices; he, by conversing with them, is | |
| | turned into a justice-like serving-man: their | |
| | spirits are so married in conjunction with the | |
| | participation of society that they flock together in | |
| | consent, like so many wild-geese. If I had a suit | 65 |
| | to Master Shallow, I would humour his men with the | |
| | imputation of being near their master: if to his | |
| | men, I would curry with Master Shallow that no man | |
| | could better command his servants. It is certain | |
| | that either wise bearing or ignorant carriage is | 70 |
| | caught, as men take diseases, one of another: | |
| | therefore let men take heed of their company. I | |
| | will devise matter enough out of this Shallow to | |
| | keep Prince Harry in continual laughter the wearing | |
| | out of six fashions, which is four terms, or two | 75 |
| | actions, and a' shall laugh without intervallums. O, | |
| | it is much that a lie with a slight oath and a jest | |
| | with a sad brow will do with a fellow that never | |
| | had the ache in his shoulders! O, you shall see him | |
| | laugh till his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up! | 80 |
| SHALLOW | Within | |
| FALSTAFF | I come, Master Shallow; I come, Master Shallow. | |
| | Exit | |
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