| ACT I SCENE I | KING JOHN'S palace. | |
| | Enter KING JOHN, QUEEN ELINOR, PEMBROKE,
ESSEX, SALISBURY, and others, with CHATILLON | |
| KING JOHN | Now, say, Chatillon, what would France with us? | |
| CHATILLON | Thus, after greeting, speaks the King of France | |
| | In my behavior to the majesty, | |
| | The borrow'd majesty, of England here. | 5 |
| QUEEN ELINOR | A strange beginning: 'borrow'd majesty!' | |
| KING JOHN | Silence, good mother; hear the embassy. | |
| CHATILLON | Philip of France, in right and true behalf | |
| | Of thy deceased brother Geffrey's son, | |
| | Arthur Plantagenet, lays most lawful claim | 10 |
| | To this fair island and the territories, | |
| | To Ireland, Poictiers, Anjou, Touraine, Maine, | |
| | Desiring thee to lay aside the sword | |
| | Which sways usurpingly these several titles, | |
| | And put these same into young Arthur's hand, | 15 |
| | Thy nephew and right royal sovereign. | |
| KING JOHN | What follows if we disallow of this? | |
| CHATILLON | The proud control of fierce and bloody war, | |
| | To enforce these rights so forcibly withheld. | |
| KING JOHN | Here have we war for war and blood for blood, | 20 |
| | Controlment for controlment: so answer France. | |
| CHATILLON | Then take my king's defiance from my mouth, | |
| | The farthest limit of my embassy. | |
| KING JOHN | Bear mine to him, and so depart in peace: | |
| | Be thou as lightning in the eyes of France; | 25 |
| | For ere thou canst report I will be there, | |
| | The thunder of my cannon shall be heard: | |
| | So hence! Be thou the trumpet of our wrath | |
| | And sullen presage of your own decay. | |
| | An honourable conduct let him have: | 30 |
| | Pembroke, look to 't. Farewell, Chatillon. | |
| | Exeunt CHATILLON and PEMBROKE | |
| QUEEN ELINOR | What now, my son! have I not ever said | |
| | How that ambitious Constance would not cease | |
| | Till she had kindled France and all the world, | |
| | Upon the right and party of her son? | 35 |
| | This might have been prevented and made whole | |
| | With very easy arguments of love, | |
| | Which now the manage of two kingdoms must | |
| | With fearful bloody issue arbitrate. | |
| KING JOHN | Our strong possession and our right for us. | 40 |
| QUEEN ELINOR | Your strong possession much more than your right, | |
| | Or else it must go wrong with you and me: | |
| | So much my conscience whispers in your ear, | |
| | Which none but heaven and you and I shall hear. | |
| | Enter a Sheriff | |
| ESSEX | My liege, here is the strangest controversy | 45 |
| | Come from country to be judged by you, | |
| | That e'er I heard: shall I produce the men? | |
| KING JOHN | Let them approach. | |
| | Our abbeys and our priories shall pay | |
| | This expedition's charge. | 50 |
| | Enter ROBERT and the BASTARD | |
| | What men are you? | |
| BASTARD | Your faithful subject I, a gentleman | |
| | Born in Northamptonshire and eldest son, | |
| | As I suppose, to Robert Faulconbridge, | |
| | A soldier, by the honour-giving hand | 55 |
| | Of Coeur-de-lion knighted in the field. | |
| KING JOHN | What art thou? | |
| ROBERT | The son and heir to that same Faulconbridge. | |
| KING JOHN | Is that the elder, and art thou the heir? | |
| | You came not of one mother then, it seems. | 60 |
| BASTARD | Most certain of one mother, mighty king; | |
| | That is well known; and, as I think, one father: | |
| | But for the certain knowledge of that truth | |
| | I put you o'er to heaven and to my mother: | |
| | Of that I doubt, as all men's children may. | 65 |
| QUEEN ELINOR | Out on thee, rude man! thou dost shame thy mother | |
| | And wound her honour with this diffidence. | |
| BASTARD | I, madam? no, I have no reason for it; | |
| | That is my brother's plea and none of mine; | |
| | The which if he can prove, a' pops me out | 70 |
| | At least from fair five hundred pound a year: | |
| | Heaven guard my mother's honour and my land! | |
| KING JOHN | A good blunt fellow. Why, being younger born, | |
| | Doth he lay claim to thine inheritance? | |
| BASTARD | I know not why, except to get the land. | 75 |
| | But once he slander'd me with bastardy: | |
| | But whether I be as true begot or no, | |
| | That still I lay upon my mother's head, | |
| | But that I am as well begot, my liege,-- | |
| | Fair fall the bones that took the pains for me!-- | 80 |
| | Compare our faces and be judge yourself. | |
| | If old sir Robert did beget us both | |
| | And were our father and this son like him, | |
| | O old sir Robert, father, on my knee | |
| | I give heaven thanks I was not like to thee! | 85 |
| KING JOHN | Why, what a madcap hath heaven lent us here! | |
| QUEEN ELINOR | He hath a trick of Coeur-de-lion's face; | |
| | The accent of his tongue affecteth him. | |
| | Do you not read some tokens of my son | |
| | In the large composition of this man? | 90 |
| KING JOHN | Mine eye hath well examined his parts | |
| | And finds them perfect Richard. Sirrah, speak, | |
| | What doth move you to claim your brother's land? | |
| BASTARD | Because he hath a half-face, like my father. | |
| | With half that face would he have all my land: | 95 |
| | A half-faced groat five hundred pound a year! | |
| ROBERT | My gracious liege, when that my father lived, | |
| | Your brother did employ my father much,-- | |
| BASTARD | Well, sir, by this you cannot get my land: | |
| | Your tale must be how he employ'd my mother. | 100 |
| ROBERT | And once dispatch'd him in an embassy | |
| | To Germany, there with the emperor | |
| | To treat of high affairs touching that time. | |
| | The advantage of his absence took the king | |
| | And in the mean time sojourn'd at my father's; | 105 |
| | Where how he did prevail I shame to speak, | |
| | But truth is truth: large lengths of seas and shores | |
| | Between my father and my mother lay, | |
| | As I have heard my father speak himself, | |
| | When this same lusty gentleman was got. | 110 |
| | Upon his death-bed he by will bequeath'd | |
| | His lands to me, and took it on his death | |
| | That this my mother's son was none of his; | |
| | And if he were, he came into the world | |
| | Full fourteen weeks before the course of time. | 115 |
| | Then, good my liege, let me have what is mine, | |
| | My father's land, as was my father's will. | |
| KING JOHN | Sirrah, your brother is legitimate; | |
| | Your father's wife did after wedlock bear him, | |
| | And if she did play false, the fault was hers; | 120 |
| | Which fault lies on the hazards of all husbands | |
| | That marry wives. Tell me, how if my brother, | |
| | Who, as you say, took pains to get this son, | |
| | Had of your father claim'd this son for his? | |
| | In sooth, good friend, your father might have kept | 125 |
| | This calf bred from his cow from all the world; | |
| | In sooth he might; then, if he were my brother's, | |
| | My brother might not claim him; nor your father, | |
| | Being none of his, refuse him: this concludes; | |
| | My mother's son did get your father's heir; | 130 |
| | Your father's heir must have your father's land. | |
| ROBERT | Shall then my father's will be of no force | |
| | To dispossess that child which is not his? | |
| BASTARD | Of no more force to dispossess me, sir, | |
| | Than was his will to get me, as I think. | 135 |
| QUEEN ELINOR | Whether hadst thou rather be a Faulconbridge | |
| | And like thy brother, to enjoy thy land, | |
| | Or the reputed son of Coeur-de-lion, | |
| | Lord of thy presence and no land beside? | |
| BASTARD | Madam, an if my brother had my shape, | 140 |
| | And I had his, sir Robert's his, like him; | |
| | And if my legs were two such riding-rods, | |
| | My arms such eel-skins stuff'd, my face so thin | |
| | That in mine ear I durst not stick a rose | |
| | Lest men should say 'Look, where three-farthings goes!' | 145 |
| | And, to his shape, were heir to all this land, | |
| | Would I might never stir from off this place, | |
| | I would give it every foot to have this face; | |
| | I would not be sir Nob in any case. | |
| QUEEN ELINOR | I like thee well: wilt thou forsake thy fortune, | 150 |
| |
Bequeath thy land to him and follow me? | |
| | I am a soldier and now bound to France. | |
| BASTARD | Brother, take you my land, I'll take my chance. | |
| | Your face hath got five hundred pound a year, | |
| | Yet sell your face for five pence and 'tis dear. | 155 |
| | Madam, I'll follow you unto the death. | |
| QUEEN ELINOR | Nay, I would have you go before me thither. | |
| BASTARD | Our country manners give our betters way. | |
| KING JOHN | What is thy name? | |
| BASTARD | Philip, my liege, so is my name begun, | 160 |
| | Philip, good old sir Robert's wife's eldest son. | |
| KING JOHN | From henceforth bear his name whose form thou bear'st: | |
| | Kneel thou down Philip, but rise more great, | |
| | Arise sir Richard and Plantagenet. | |
| BASTARD | Brother by the mother's side, give me your hand: | 165 |
| | My father gave me honour, yours gave land. | |
| | Now blessed by the hour, by night or day, | |
| | When I was got, sir Robert was away! | |
| QUEEN ELINOR | The very spirit of Plantagenet! | |
| | I am thy grandam, Richard; call me so. | 170 |
| BASTARD | Madam, by chance but not by truth; what though? | |
| | Something about, a little from the right, | |
| | In at the window, or else o'er the hatch: | |
| | Who dares not stir by day must walk by night, | |
| | And have is have, however men do catch: | 175 |
| | Near or far off, well won is still well shot, | |
| | And I am I, howe'er I was begot. | |
| KING JOHN | Go, Faulconbridge: now hast thou thy desire; | |
| | A landless knight makes thee a landed squire. | |
| | Come, madam, and come, Richard, we must speed | 180 |
| | For France, for France, for it is more than need. | |
| BASTARD | Brother, adieu: good fortune come to thee! | |
| | For thou wast got i' the way of honesty. | |
| | Exeunt all but BASTARD | |
| | A foot of honour better than I was; | |
| | But many a many foot of land the worse. | 185 |
| | Well, now can I make any Joan a lady. | |
| | 'Good den, sir Richard!'--'God-a-mercy, fellow!'-- | |
| | And if his name be George, I'll call him Peter; | |
| | For new-made honour doth forget men's names; | |
| | 'Tis too respective and too sociable | 190 |
| | For your conversion. Now your traveller, | |
| | He and his toothpick at my worship's mess, | |
| | And when my knightly stomach is sufficed, | |
| | Why then I suck my teeth and catechise | |
| | My picked man of countries: 'My dear sir,' | 195 |
| | Thus, leaning on mine elbow, I begin, | |
| | 'I shall beseech you'--that is question now; | |
| | And then comes answer like an Absey book: | |
| | 'O sir,' says answer, 'at your best command; | |
| | At your employment; at your service, sir;' | 200 |
| | 'No, sir,' says question, 'I, sweet sir, at yours:' | |
| | And so, ere answer knows what question would, | |
| | Saving in dialogue of compliment, | |
| | And talking of the Alps and Apennines, | |
| | The Pyrenean and the river Po, | 205 |
| | It draws toward supper in conclusion so. | |
| | But this is worshipful society | |
| | And fits the mounting spirit like myself, | |
| | For he is but a bastard to the time | |
| | That doth not smack of observation; | 210 |
| | And so am I, whether I smack or no; | |
| | And not alone in habit and device, | |
| | Exterior form, outward accoutrement, | |
| | But from the inward motion to deliver | |
| | Sweet, sweet, sweet poison for the age's tooth: | 215 |
| | Which, though I will not practise to deceive, | |
| | Yet, to avoid deceit, I mean to learn; | |
| | For it shall strew the footsteps of my rising. | |
| | But who comes in such haste in riding-robes? | |
| | What woman-post is this? hath she no husband | 220 |
| | That will take pains to blow a horn before her? | |
| | Enter LADY FAULCONBRIDGE and GURNEY | |
| | O me! it is my mother. How now, good lady! | |
| | What brings you here to court so hastily? | |
| LADY FAULCONBRIDGE | Where is that slave, thy brother? where is he, | |
| | That holds in chase mine honour up and down? | 225 |
| BASTARD | My brother Robert? old sir Robert's son? | |
| | Colbrand the giant, that same mighty man? | |
| | Is it sir Robert's son that you seek so? | |
| LADY FAULCONBRIDGE | Sir Robert's son! Ay, thou unreverend boy, | |
| | Sir Robert's son: why scorn'st thou at sir Robert? | 230 |
| | He is sir Robert's son, and so art thou. | |
| BASTARD | James Gurney, wilt thou give us leave awhile? | |
| GURNEY | Good leave, good Philip. | |
| BASTARD | Philip! sparrow: James, | |
| | There's toys abroad: anon I'll tell thee more. | 235 |
| | Exit GURNEY | |
| | Madam, I was not old sir Robert's son: | |
| | Sir Robert might have eat his part in me | |
| | Upon Good-Friday and ne'er broke his fast: | |
| | Sir Robert could do well: marry, to confess, | |
| | Could he get me? Sir Robert could not do it: | 240 |
| | We know his handiwork: therefore, good mother, | |
| | To whom am I beholding for these limbs? | |
| | Sir Robert never holp to make this leg. | |
| LADY FAULCONBRIDGE | Hast thou conspired with thy brother too, | |
| | That for thine own gain shouldst defend mine honour? | 245 |
| | What means this scorn, thou most untoward knave? | |
| BASTARD | Knight, knight, good mother, Basilisco-like. | |
| | What! I am dubb'd! I have it on my shoulder. | |
| | But, mother, I am not sir Robert's son; | |
| | I have disclaim'd sir Robert and my land; | 250 |
| | Legitimation, name and all is gone: | |
| | Then, good my mother, let me know my father; | |
| | Some proper man, I hope: who was it, mother? | |
| LADY FAULCONBRIDGE | Hast thou denied thyself a Faulconbridge? | |
| BASTARD | As faithfully as I deny the devil. | 255 |
| LADY FAULCONBRIDGE | King Richard Coeur-de-lion was thy father: | |
| | By long and vehement suit I was seduced | |
| | To make room for him in my husband's bed: | |
| | Heaven lay not my transgression to my charge! | |
| | Thou art the issue of my dear offence, | 260 |
| | Which was so strongly urged past my defence. | |
| BASTARD | Now, by this light, were I to get again, | |
| | Madam, I would not wish a better father. | |
| | Some sins do bear their privilege on earth, | |
| | And so doth yours; your fault was not your folly: | 265 |
| | Needs must you lay your heart at his dispose, | |
| | Subjected tribute to commanding love, | |
| | Against whose fury and unmatched force | |
| | The aweless lion could not wage the fight, | |
| | Nor keep his princely heart from Richard's hand. | 270 |
| | He that perforce robs lions of their hearts | |
| | May easily win a woman's. Ay, my mother, | |
| | With all my heart I thank thee for my father! | |
| | Who lives and dares but say thou didst not well | |
| | When I was got, I'll send his soul to hell. | 275 |
| | Come, lady, I will show thee to my kin; | |
| | And they shall say, when Richard me begot, | |
| | If thou hadst said him nay, it had been sin: | |
| | Who says it was, he lies; I say 'twas not. | |
| | Exeunt | |
